Youmans (pronounced like 'yeoman' with an 's' added) is the best-kept secret among contemporary American writers. --John Wilson, editor, Books and Culture

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The Palace Aphorisms, series 1, nos. 3-5


Series 1: Fat people & tourists

For more about the Palace Aphorisms, see the post of August 12th.

* * *

With apologies to the Wallace Stevens of Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird and The Emperor of Ice-Cream:

no. 3

The fat woman of Haddam never sees how the blackbird walks around her feet.

no. 4


A man and a woman and a blackbird are one, but a fat man is splendidly two or three.

no. 5


The ruler of the fat men is the only Emperor of Ice Cream.

The photograph "Abode of Crow" appears courtesy of www.sxc.hu/ andSteve Ford Elliott of County Clare, Ireland.

6 comments:

  1. So,Marly now you have nos 3-5 posted - does this mean you have the rest of the week covered?

    My favourite is No 3 - I wouldn't be able to see an ostrich... without my glasses on.

    Also I would just like to point out I have put on 2lbs since reading this post, but it tasted good.

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  2. Hmm. Never thought about taking the rest of the week off. I could. But I suppose I won't. They just went together...

    I, too, have mole-ish eyesight and depend on the magic of glasses. Often there are cats around my feet, wholly unseen!

    After a certain point in life, the mere mention of something edible (a blackbird, an ostrich, fat) is enough to provoke the imagination into adding poundage.

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  3. That's gross! Ostriches are NOT edible. They're too leathery. And that was quite, quite disgusting. However, the aphorisms were good and clever, especially the one about a fat man being two or three.

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  4. glikboop the green?

    It's funny. The weirder the name, the more certain I feel that I know you.

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  5. Hi Marly,

    I hate to say I added poundage this summer, but it is again coming off. I was losing this past year, but summer, a slower pace, and ice cream, made things creep up again. A friend of mine has, however, challenged me to losing. So maybe if I ever see you again, you won't know me, I'll be so lithe. :)

    I do so wish I could afford a personal trainer.

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  6. I notice that nobody is obsessing about being a tourist!

    (B. Q., must dig up your envelope and send, because school starts today, and I have no more excuses...)

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Alas, I must once again remind large numbers of Chinese salesmen and other worldwide peddlers that if they fall into the Gulf of Spam, they will be eaten by roaming Balrogs. The rest of you, lovers of grace, poetry, and horses (nod to Yeats--you do not have to be fond of horses), feel free to leave fascinating missives and curious arguments.