Youmans (pronounced like 'yeoman' with an 's' added) is the best-kept secret among contemporary American writers. --John Wilson, editor, Books and Culture

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Mornings with N

Small play, about events from the last week of 4th grade, all parts played by N:

Booboo, Dude

Little dark-haired girl points to booboo and says: OOOooh! My earring fell off!

N, jaded, unimpressed: Then why isn't it bleeding, dude?

LDG, sweetly: I don't know.

LDG adds cloyingly: Dude!

N, still jaded: Dude, I bet you put a fake ear over your real ear.

N breaks into "gotcha" hand motions: Ka-chao! Ka-chao! Ciao!

***
And another:

Combing the Radio

N is brushing the bedside clock radio with a small blue brush.

N, in case I'm wondering: I'm just combing Junior.

N pats the radio.

N: You're set to go to school, Junior.

N: Time school.

N: It goes very quickly, actually.

N pets a shark. Sticks shark in my face: Dude, man, what's so funny, man?

N's shark: I'm in a different world.

N's shark: I'm on Mars.

N's shark strains loudly for breath: There's no water on Mars.

N's shark appears disturbed: Oo, I'm having a baby!

Pop!

N's shark: Baby, wait for me!

N's shark walks around the bed on its tail.

N catches my eye.

N's shark: It's because I'm on Mars, dude. Ciao, baby!

Ear credit is due http://www.sxc.hu/ and photographer "S." of Canada. Thanks, S.

26 comments:

  1. these vignettes ... what a marvelous world it can be...in their heads!!

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  2. I think its neat when my friends give their kids a disposable camera and see what they look at and want to take pictures of.

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  3. Susanna,

    That's on the shopping list... for camp.

    zephyr,

    Yes, tinged with marvel. Or downright other.

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  4. Aren't kids neat! Sometimes I miss having small children running around my house. I got to see the grandchildren yesterday though, K. was starting dance at 2 and a half, and was quite excited about her outfit, shoes, and the whole process in general. L. continues to be soooo very cute, and loves to flirt with women now. I know because he kept smiling at the blonde lady behind our table, where my daughter took me to lunch. His mother's brunette like me.

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  5. N alone has four events scheduled for today, and an overnight sleepover here. Kids running around is exhausting!

    Children don't need a writer.

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  6. Question for blogspot computer geeks: I've done everything advised in Blogger Help, but I can't get into my site via the blogger home page (nor any sneaky way.) I added McAfee, which seems to be the root of the problem...

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  7. I wish I were computer wise and could answer your question. Maybe if N combs the computer??
    Great stories.

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  8. Hi Beloved,
    For some reason I can't sign into Yahoo in Sweden. So I am writing you through your blog to let you know I got here alright (arrived about three hours ago) and have made it to the conference center. My legs are both the same size, also.
    Much Love,
    The Reverse Viking

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  9. Oh dear, I can't help you either...
    Amazing you take in all that stream of delicious nonsense!
    Very shell-like!

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  10. Well at least it appears to be a nice clean ear!

    I came back from London by train this morning and half way up the carriage were some "young" looking at pictures on their camera/ mobile; judging by the amount of shrieks and giggling I would hate to think what they were looking at!

    I am intrigued at why you have added McAfee to your blog, or is it your website you have added McAfee? I must say blogger help is like other helps connected to IT ; just not helpful. I don't blame them at all, try making a help for someone totally computer illiterate, where would you start?

    If you explain a bit more I will put my 18 yo to it he has a fortnight of doing nothing before he starts work!

    How wonderful about the Historian. I hope N has a good time on camp. This is something we do really do on mass over here which is a great pity, I think it an important part of up education.

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  11. Sorry some typos on that last one, please don't take offence!!

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  12. Vikings come first...

    Dearest Viking,

    Why don't you pick up an earthlink account (since that's our server at home) and write me that way? Or some other free site for a temporary account?

    All is well.

    Lucy & Robert,

    That was not my ear! Nor N's. It is a random child's ear... So I can take credit neither for its shell-like appearance or general sanitation.

    Robert,

    McAfee is just a standard security program that debugs, etc. But evidently it has a history of not getting along with blogger. It just puts me on a loop (refreshing) each time I sign it; I get the page over and over again. Phoo.

    jarvenpa,

    I have known a small child to fix a computer. And I have known the same child, now a teenager, to bring it down! It all seems like a shell game (with ears for Lucy!)

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  13. FYI:
    after my original email program failed me i switched to GMail which has worked really well for the last 4 months...and NO spam at all, not one (so far)
    and
    have you checked to see if McAfee has free online support for your problem? i use Norton, which has its own issues from time to time, and when some inexplicable something goes wrong i now go to their online support pages first to see if Norton is the problem and if so, to discover how to fix it (which is rarely an intuitive answer, if you ask me).

    Good luck...hopefully another Blogger blogger will have your answer for you really soon

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  14. Well, I have done everything in Blogger Help, and I've done everything advised by the "RealStatus" Blogger blogger, so maybe it's time to bother McAfee.

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  15. Looking forward to tomorrrrrowwww: my son and partner and babe driving up from Cornwall, leaving babe here while they go on to a party..
    He's just talking, saying stuff down the phone and it's brilliant!!
    Never thought Id be a daft old granny
    But It Happens..

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  16. Oh, jan, I long to be a daft old granny myself. Must dart back over to your page and get vicarious pleasure.
    marly (glad your viking is okay)--did you check the, um, settings for McAffee? Maybe there is some place where there is a list of websites that are blocked (or not). I know that sometimes when I have had probs with my access, thanks to (or no thanks to)my various firewalls and such, sometimes I have had to dive in and say "this thing is allowed, and so is this". If I have a chance--on deadlines now--I will ask my eldest; computers are his livelihood and delight.

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  17. j-day of jan and jarvenpa--

    Daft old granny sounds fun, especially since you get to give them back after a day or two! The thing about motherdom is that there's never a break. Though that's wrong: I had one this year.

    End of complaining.

    Well, I've discovered that I can't login to anything at all. Must go dig some more with McAfee, as I've done everything else. But first, must run take lasagna out of the oven.

    Yes, I'm glad the reverse Viking is okay. He has lots of funny stories, and the food and drink sounds good.

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  18. I am sorry you are having problems with Blogger.

    I am recovering. It seems I have energy one day, overdo, then end up feeling bad the next. I must learn to pace myself. I had to go to the funeral home last night though. An awful tragedy that I posted about on my site, and so was out too much and tired today.

    I hope you get the blogger problems fixed. If not try typepad. It is great.

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  19. Hope you don't mind that I am trying this out to see if my picture appears that I attached to my blog queen profile.

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  20. b. q.,

    You have two months to feel like the vibrant art teacher, ready to joust with small Carolina boys and girls. Can't have the nccat-ers under heavy weather...

    Good cheer and good health, despite all havoc, despite destruction.

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  21. hope your carpol tunel gets better. Ever since I started doing a lot of typing at the library I have felt the beginings of discomfort. I spoke to a nurse about it and she said to try mousing with my left hand.

    have a great summer, dont be a stranger :o)

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  22. I'm so glad we won't have to do without the palace until September! I couldn't leave a comment at your most recent post, so I'm doing it here.

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  23. Hey Laura--

    It may be a while, though.

    "Carpool tunnel" is not fun!

    And I am off kid-ferrying. This is an interesting one... More anon.

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  24. your computer sounds like an eveil demon.

    you dont have to respond :o)

    I was just thinking of you and wanted to say HAy.

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  25. Hi there, Susanna--

    I think the one that died was possessed by an evil demon. Fruitlessly I labored to exorcise the dang thing. To no avail.

    This one was possessed by the very possessive McAfee Security System. I have made it back down, with a little help from Mack the under-footman. Nothing like a well-swung truncheon to make a security system behave.

    Today I'm off in White River Junction, Vermont. More about that anon.

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  26. You have great, great blog...

    so keep up writing wicked stories like "Mornings with N"...

    ---------------------------------
    freetomanifest.com team; place you can read Robert Frost biography.

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Alas, I must once again remind large numbers of Chinese salesmen and other worldwide peddlers that if they fall into the Gulf of Spam, they will be eaten by roaming Balrogs. The rest of you, lovers of grace, poetry, and horses (nod to Yeats--you do not have to be fond of horses), feel free to leave fascinating missives and curious arguments.