Youmans (pronounced like 'yeoman' with an 's' added) is the best-kept secret among contemporary American writers.--John Wilson, editor, Books and Culture.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Coming Attractions at the Palace

















Upcoming project: aphorisms
12 months
12 categories
250+ chances to be an idiot

Rules for me:
--Never sound like Polonius.
--Do all the thinking in the daily shower, and no more. Don't steal writing time or child time.
--Feel free to alter any category based on whim, but once the month begins, the choice is made--doom, fate, and duty kick in, and there will be no more whimsical changes of mind.
--Skip the weekend.

The aphoristic muse:
Laura Murphy Frankstone is the official inspiration for the Palace Aphorisms. She has posted a drawing or more per day for almost a year on Laurelines. Being a tidy soul, she has organized her undertaking by sensible monthly topics--landscape, still life (see the sample above), interiors, food, animals, people, etc. I regard my more modest enterprise as a Child of Laurelines, a crepe myrtle twiglet magically sprouting from a live oak.

Why aphorisms:
Doing something firmly out of fashion always has a perverse fascination. I have picked a form that is old-fashioned, seldom practiced, and not particularly congenial to me--or maybe it is; I haven't the faintest idea. I prefer to try something I don't know how to do, and at which I may fail. Great thumping humiliations have their own interest and attraction...

My 12 categories, in no particular order:
--writing
--chickens
--the fantastic
--God & powers & principalities
--poetry
--fat people/tourists
--myth
--children
--cats
--stories & novels
--house
--the ultimate challenge of w-e-a-t-h-e-r, the boring topic with too many aphorisms already

Perhaps I should start with fat people/tourists--Siamese twin topics very much on my mind when I'm home, cheek and jowl with the varied visitors to the Baseball Hall of Fame. The Glimmerglass Opera tourists never raid my cottage garden, swear at their kids on my scrap of lawn, or picnic and litter on my porch... Now don't get on to me about fat people, or I'll add "gimp" as a category. I hate the way that pithy little word keeps being carted off into the sunset by the p. c. police.

Rules for you:
--Comments, abuse, confessions, and general off-topic blatherings are always entertaining, but you may also tweak the original or offer your very own on-topic aphorism.
--Ideas for topics might be interesting. Might.

Start:
2:00 a.m.,
1 September 2006,
after the summer's kid-ferrying comes to a close.

That's Daughter of Frank-en-stone, soon to be playing at your local Palace Theatre.

12 comments:

  1. How funny you are! I can't wait for the chicken aphorisms. And then can I illustrate the book when you've gathered a year's worth?
    Maman

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  2. I could start with the chickens. Though maybe I should start with what is not p.c. Since I haven't posted in so long, maybe nobody will notice for the first month...

    What book? Le livre imaginaire, I suppose. Certainment, Maman!

    If this keeps up, I'll have to learn French. Think I've forgotten all but scraps. Supposedly I used to chatter away in Cajun French with my neighbors when I lived in Gramercy, Louisiana--a place I recall with infant sight as a bright Eden.

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  3. Glad your back. I look forward to your aphorisms.

    By the way, I still can't get blogger to let me upload pics. Any suggestions???

    Blog queen

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  4. I notified them once a week until it was fixed... That problem is sporadic, and they don't seem to know "where" things aren't working.

    Sometimes I still have trouble getting in--it tells me I have no cookies or java, though I have enough to set up a coffee shop.

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  5. Oh, pooh.

    I have filled out too many of these little comment boxes with camp letters this week! You're lucky I didn't tell you to be sweet and wear your retainer!

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  6. Guuurl,

    I had to get out my dictionary and refresh on Aphorisms!

    I think this whole Coming Attractions and guide lines are neat.

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  7. Ah not your mama,

    I lost my retainer twice in high school, so the parental units gave up on buying me another. I shall forever have an overbite, but I don't care. I couldn't chew with the darned thing on, and it ended up in school cafeteria trash.

    I have completed this summer, an acrylic painting of an angell, a pastel landscape painting, and a pastel painting of my granddaughter kissing my grandson. I am now working on an acrylic portrait of my granddaughter. If I could get blogger to cooperate, I could take pictures and share. I shall have to bug blogger to get it fixed.

    In addition, I found out that we will be "required" to set up and maintain a webpage at school, so I shall send the address out when it is complete.

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  8. Now I can proceed with careless abandon, assured of the galiquan approval! Miss Susanna, I shall have to pop by and see what weird rituals you have been up to of late.

    And b. q., just keep bugging those blogguys and bloggettes. They do eventually fix things. Then we shall discover what you and the tots get up to.

    ***

    I saw an eagle skating over Cooperstown this morning.

    ***

    N. quote: Some of those women can really sing high! [Pause. Look of unadulterated mischief.] Bet I can sing higher.

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  9. Thank you for popping in and visiting my humble LJ, it is always an honor.

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  10. Likewise, I'm sure!

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  11. I too had to look up the word. I'm intrigued and have you 'bloglined'.

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  12. Oh, what fun! I've read (liked) your first book but didn't know that you had a blog...

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Alas, I must once again remind large numbers of Chinese salesmen and other worldwide peddlers that if they fall into the Gulf of Spam, they will be eaten by roaming Balrogs. The rest of you, lovers of grace, poetry, and horses (nod to Yeats--you do not have to be fond of horses), feel free to leave fascinating missives and curious arguments.